When, where and how should I network?

Now there’s a loaded question.  It’s one I get asked a lot, particularly by people who are in a frantic state about their careers and businesses, are new in town, or are new to the whole notion of networking.  If you want a traditional answer on which networking events you should consider attending, read Chapter 7 in my book The Intentional Networker.  It offers some specific and valuable insights on networking and standing out in the crowd.

But this isn’t meant to be a commercial for my book. Well, ok, maybe it is.  But I also want to offer another approach to the when-where-and-how question. Get ready for a blinding flash of the obvious.  When you’re in a dither about networking consider this:  wherever you go, wherever you might encounter people (those you already know and/or those you don’t), consider it a networking event. Networking happens everywhere.

Be open & prepared

Professional association luncheons? Chamber of commerce meetings? Annual conferences? The obligatory networking meetups and happy hours?  Yes, these are networking events and you should absolutely consider attending a few.  But don’t forget the dog park, the gym, the grocery store, that class you’re taking, or your neighborhood coffee shop, burger joint, or pub.  Don’t go to these places and suddenly clam up.  Try something crazy: if you see someone who looks interesting throw caution to the wind and say hello.  What harm can it do?  If you suspect they are an ax-wielding serial killer, by all means turn tail and run. But remember that most people are good and will at least say hello back.

In listening to a lecture by Dan Heath, co-author of Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work, I learned something cool about good decision-making that can be applied to networking. Here it is:  widen your options.  Widen the scope of where you could potentially meet people and connect, for business or for personal reasons.

Then take a cue from the Girl Scouts: be prepared.  Have at least some idea of what your socializing style and preferences are.  Know what value you could bring to others, even if it’s just to brighten their day.  Know what kinds of people you’d like to attract into your world and what kind of outcome you desire.  This pre-work is the foundation of being a more Intentional Networker as opposed to purely going after the Ms. or Mr Congeniality Award.

Below are my guidelines about socializing and networking at the moment.  I prepare by reviewing this before I step out the door.

  • I want to meet, be introduced to, and get to know interesting, intelligent, fun, positive people who are doing cool things that they’re passionate about.
  • I’d rather have a few interesting, meaningful, memorable conversations than flit about the room blurting out fake “pickup lines” and tossing my business cards about.
  • I like learning about people, who they are, what they’re doing, what they’re passionate about, what they want to achieve, where they’ve been, and where they want to go.
  • I like being generous, offering up what I know and what I’m doing in a way that intrigues and/or serves others.
  • I’m honestly more interested in people than the sale, but paradoxically (I love this part) it often brings me business, opportunities, and definitely great connections.

It’s pretty simple and it works for me.

That’s the point. Networking can be simple and it should work for you. You just have to be open-minded and have the tiniest bit of a plan.

What’s yours?

8 Responses to When, where and how should I network?
  1. Roger Courville
    April 18, 2013 | 8:14 am

    Good stuff, Patti.

    That final point…”more interested in people than the sale”…is good to remember in social media, too. That’s the “social” part.

    Give first, and you’ll be surprise how much you get in return.

    Keep it up!


    • pattid
      April 18, 2013 | 11:09 am

      Thanks for reading, commenting and sharing, Roger!

  2. Jan Goss
    April 18, 2013 | 12:04 pm

    Once again … a home run hit of practical advice from Patti DeNucci. The value in connecting is not in quantities but in the quality of the connection.
    I especially love the part about boldly connecting by simply using the word “hello”… and may I add:
    When you say hello add a “good morning”, “good afternoon”, or “good evening” to it. That gives you a few more nano-seconds of connection with the other person.
    Yes, it is simple. Yes, it works. Thank you Patti for helping us connect more intentionally and for sharing your brilliance with the world!

    • pattid
      April 18, 2013 | 1:00 pm

      Great add-ona! Thank you, Jan.

  3. Janki
    April 18, 2013 | 2:19 pm

    I have to say how one of my pet peeves is when people don’t bring their business cards to events that are meant for networking! I went to a very pricey conference a few months ago in Dallas and at least 3 people I met didn’t have cards on them. One fished one from his wallet, buried underneath a bunch of receipts and loyalty cards.
    I wondered if the others really didn’t bring their cards or just didn’t want to give it to me.
    Either way, it didn’t leave a good impression.

    One of the best networking stories I have came from an odd source. I assist in teaching my son’s weekly church group with another mom. I mentioned that I had to leave early one week since I had an industry gala to attend. That day, she said that her husband, an architect was attending the same event! It turns out our firms could help each other out. By just being open, I went from “so-and-so’s mom” to being a representative of my company.

    You never know what can happen, so it does pay to stay open and friendly!

    • pattid
      April 18, 2013 | 2:53 pm

      Thank you Janki! Appreciate your contributions here. I always wonder why we don’t open up more – you never know what can happen when you do.

  4. Steve Harper
    April 19, 2013 | 10:16 am

    Excellent post Patti.

    In the end, networking comes down to your ability to connect and engage with people. It isn’t about the sale or the business outcome, at least not initially. So many people miss that point when they think about “networking.” It’s about connecting with the people you meet not selling them right out of the gates!

    One of the ways that I’ve managed to build my network is connect with people outside of networking events. People are more apt to talk and your more inclined to listen and learn when you both aren’t trying to forward an agenda.

    Keep up the great posts my friend!

    Ripple On!!!

    • pattid
      April 23, 2013 | 8:13 am

      Appreciate your comment, Steve! I agree that some of the very best and most targeted, impactful (and enjoyable) networking happens in situations that aren’t necessarily “networking events”. Time to get creative!

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